Fergus Interviews For A Job

Oscar:  I is so happy to see you.

MacIntosh:  Who is the little guy there?

Oscar:  (sigh) That’s Fergus.  Dad ands me founds him at the airport.

MacIntosh:  Was he lost?

Oscar:  Nope.  He was holding a sign that said “ Puppy.  Real pain in the ass.  Needs home.”

MacIntosh:  That’s not very nice Oscar.  So what’s your story Fergus?

Fergus:  I was born into a poor family in Hamilton and I started out as one very wild puppy.

Oscar:  End story.  Now he wants to be parts of our writings team.

MacIntosh:  So you caused some havoc eh?

Fergus:  Yep.  Bite, bite, bite.  Bit my litter mates, bit the hand that feeds me, bit the teat that feeds me.

Oscar:  Yikes.

Fergus:  But that changed the day I found Jesus.

MacIntosh:  Where was he?

Fergus:  In the bathroom.

Oscar:  Was he in there taking a Fergus?

MacIntosh:  Geeze Oscar…take it easy.

Fergus:  He was not looking so good, let me tell you.  I thought he was dead.

Oscar:  So what’s did you do?

Fergus:  I licked him and he got completely better.

MacIntosh:  Arose to the occasion did he?

Fergus:  Yep.  I was his salvation.

Oscar:  How dids you know it was Jesus?

Fergus:  Previous life.  Back then I was known as Joseph.

Oscar:  Was you a Westie?

Fergus:  Nope.  I had a coat of many colors.

MacIntosh:  Did you build the pyramids?

Fergus:  Nope.  The pyramids were built by aliens.

Oscar:  Yeah MacIntosh.  Everybody knows.

MacIntosh:  So you changed after the bathroom episode?

Fergus:  Yep.  I quit biting.  I studied all the time.  I was offered a full scholarship at Westie Point but decided to become a…lawyer….no a doctor.  Oh yeah…I became a neurosurgeon.  That’s the ticket.

Oscar:  You is lyin’.  You is still biting.

MacIntosh:  He’s not lying Oscar.  He’s doing a Ben Carson imitation.

Oscar:  He’s is?

Fergus.  Yep.  Pretty cool, huh?

MacIntosh:  Pretty cool.  So you want to be part of the team?

Fergus:  I do.  What does Oscar think?

Oscar:  Pizza.  I thinks about pizza.

MacIntosh:  You’re in.

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