Oscar: I is so happy to see you.
MacIntosh: Who is the little guy there?
Oscar: (sigh) That’s Fergus. Dad ands me founds him at the airport.
MacIntosh: Was he lost?
Oscar: Nope. He was holding a sign that said “ Puppy. Real pain in the ass. Needs home.”
MacIntosh: That’s not very nice Oscar. So what’s your story Fergus?
Fergus: I was born into a poor family in Hamilton and I started out as one very wild puppy.
Oscar: End story. Now he wants to be parts of our writings team.
MacIntosh: So you caused some havoc eh?
Fergus: Yep. Bite, bite, bite. Bit my litter mates, bit the hand that feeds me, bit the teat that feeds me.
Fergus: But that changed the day I found Jesus.
MacIntosh: Where was he?
Fergus: In the bathroom.
Oscar: Was he in there taking a Fergus?
MacIntosh: Geeze Oscar…take it easy.
Fergus: He was not looking so good, let me tell you. I thought he was dead.
Oscar: So what’s did you do?
Fergus: I licked him and he got completely better.
MacIntosh: Arose to the occasion did he?
Fergus: Yep. I was his salvation.
Oscar: How dids you know it was Jesus?
Fergus: Previous life. Back then I was known as Joseph.
Oscar: Was you a Westie?
Fergus: Nope. I had a coat of many colors.
MacIntosh: Did you build the pyramids?
Fergus: Nope. The pyramids were built by aliens.
Oscar: Yeah MacIntosh. Everybody knows.
MacIntosh: So you changed after the bathroom episode?
Fergus: Yep. I quit biting. I studied all the time. I was offered a full scholarship at Westie Point but decided to become a…lawyer….no a doctor. Oh yeah…I became a neurosurgeon. That’s the ticket.
Oscar: You is lyin’. You is still biting.
MacIntosh: He’s not lying Oscar. He’s doing a Ben Carson imitation.
Oscar: He’s is?
Fergus. Yep. Pretty cool, huh?
MacIntosh: Pretty cool. So you want to be part of the team?
Fergus: I do. What does Oscar think?
Oscar: Pizza. I thinks about pizza.
MacIntosh: You’re in.