Oscar Talks With The Mexicans

MacIntosh:  Today we are on the border near Nogales and Oscar is meeting with Mexican dignitaries.  We have translators to help us communicate.  The event is just getting started.

Oscar:  Welcome to America.

Mexican: Mira, es un perro que habla (Look, it’s a talking dog)

Oscar:  Whats did he say?

Translator:  He said  “thank you.  Glad to be here.”

Oscar:  I knows you must be confused by our immigration policies.  We is the only country that will kills you if you try to get in…but reward you with a nice job if you makes it.

Mexican:  No puedo creer mis propios ojos. Está loco (Its crazy…I can’t believe my own eyes.)

Translator:  He says “yes, it is very confusing”

Oscar: That’s like building a big fence and then leaving a bunch of fresh pizza on the other side of the fence.  Who can resist pizza?

Mexican: Tiene que ser un robot. Tal vez su Disneyland (It must be one of those robots from Disneyland)

Translator:  Yes.  We just want to work and feed our families.  If you don’t need our help…don’t hire us.

Oscar:  Zactly.  The reason we don’t arrest illegal employers is because our employers really need your help.  Whats we need is a visiting workers program.

Mexican: O tal vez es un holograma.  (Maybe it’s a hologram)

Translator:  We would welcome a program where we can come to work legally.

Oscar:  Is you sure that’s whats he said?

Translator:  Absolutely.  Holograma means ‘working legally’?

Oscar:  I gets it.

Oscar:  My workers program would mean you are treated like our own workers.  Buts you will have the sames responsibility to pay taxes and be a good citizen.  We is trying to Make America Nice Again.

Mexican:  No puedo esperar a mi esposa sobre esto.  (I can’t wait to tell my wife about this talking dog)

Oscar:  It also means we would arrest and fine employers that continue to hire illegally.  So if you is not given a permit you is out of luck.

Mexican:  Quiero ver más de cerca, pero la patrulla fronteriza se me disparan.  (I want to look closer but the Border Patrol will shoot me)

Translator:  We just want to work hard and be treated with dignity.

Oscar:  I can see from the look of amazement on yours face that you can barely believe there was such a simple solution to the immigration problem.

Mexican:  Un perro que habla es mejor que jackass Trump, ¿eh? (A talking dog is better than that jackass Trump)

Translator:  We prefer your solution to Donald Trump’s.

Oscar:  Thank you for your time and remember to vote for Oscar for Pleasandent.

MacIntosh:  They can’t vote.  They’re from Mexico.

Oscar: Huh?  They cant’s vote?

MacIntosh:  Nope.  Not in our elections.

Oscar:  That’s OK.  It was worth coming anyway.

MacIntosh:  Why do you say that?

Oscar:  Cuz I learns something new.

MacIntosh:  ???

Oscar:  Quesadillos is just as good as pizza.

This entry was posted in America, Campaign 2016, Immigration. Bookmark the permalink.

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