Guns

Oscar:  We have with us today a guy that is…well, let’s say he really, really, really likes guns.

MacIntosh:  We promised anonymity so that he could speak freely

Oscar:  So we is just gonna call him Ammo.  Welcome Ammo.

Ammo:  So what can I do for you little targets?

MacIntosh:  Yikes.  We are trying to understand how you feel about guns.

Oscar:  Yeah, we wanna know what gives you ticks.

MacIntosh:  Makes you tick.

Oscar:  Zactly.  So how many guns do you have?

Ammo.  463.

Oscar:  ‘Scuse me?

Ammo:  463.  Plus a drone, a bazooka, an anti-aircraft gun,  an Abrams tank and a computer aided sniper set-up.

MacIntosh:  That is a lot of guns.

Oscar:  Howse come you need to have so many guns.

Ammo:  I don’t.

MacIntosh:  Why then?

Ammo:  Because Obama.

Oscar:  Obama?

Ammo:  Each time the gun manufacturers have warned Obama is coming to take our guns I go buy more guns.

MacIntosh:  You think Obama is coming for your guns?

Ammo: Yes I do.

MacIntosh:  Is losing your guns your biggest fear?

Ammo:  No.  My biggest fear is that after I die my wife will sell them for what I told her I paid for them.

Oscar:  I’s never heard President Obama talk about taking away guns.

Ammo:  Are you calling me and the gun manufacturers a liar?

MacIntosh:  Not really.  The gun manufacturers had a financial reason to lie to you.  You were just a chump.

Oscar:  That’s not very nice MacIntosh.

Ammo:  Yeah.  Lets keep it civil here.

MacIntosh:  Sorry.  If Obama decided to take your guns how do you think he might do it?  Would he pass a new law?

Ammo:  No we got that covered.  The NRA owns congress.

Oscar:  Howse then.  Woulds he order the army guys?

Ammo:  I guess I don’t know little fellas.

MacIntosh:  Chump.

Oscar:  Is you worried about the guns violence.

Ammo:  Guns don’t kill people…people do.

MacIntosh:  Let me restate then.  Are you concerned that people with guns are able to kill and injure a lot more people than they would any other way?

Ammo:  No.  What we need are more guns.

Oscar:  Sos if everybody had guns peoples wouldn’t use guns?

MacIntosh:  Do you really believe that?

Ammo:  No.  I just like to say it.

Oscar:  Does it make you feels better?

Ammo:  Yeah.  You know why?

MacIntosh:  Because you really, really, really love guns?

Ammo:  Exactly.

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