Diets

Oscar:  Dad is trying a new diet.

MacIntosh:  What’s it called?

Oscar:  The John Lennon Diet.  He took me with him to a group meeting last night.

MacIntosh:  What were they talking about?

Oscar:  All they were saying is “give peas a chance.”

MacIntosh:  Nice.

Oscar:  Will peas make you lose weight?

MacIntosh:  Depends on how big your bladder is.

Oscar:  Well it’s better than the last diet he tried.

MacIntosh:  The Irish Pub Diet?

Oscar:  Yep.  He was actin’ strange with that one.

MacIntosh:  In the first week he lost two days.

Oscar:  Yep.  Do you think I should go a diet MacIntosh?

MacIntosh:  Which one?

Oscar: Is was thinkin’ maybe the Italian Diet.

MacIntosh:  What’s in it?

Oscar:  Pizza.  Lots of pizza.

MacIntosh:  Maybe you should try the West Highland White Terrier Diet.  It’s popular in Scotland.

Oscar:  That sounds good.  What’s in it?

MacIntosh:  You can only eat haggis but you can have all of it you want.

Oscar:  Buts howse will I lose weight?

MacIntosh:  Have you ever tasted haggis?

Oscar:  Nope.

MacIntosh:  Trust me…you will lose lots of weight.

Oscar:  Mom says I’m not fat I just gots big bones.

MacIntosh:  Dinosaurs had big bones.  Things didn’t work out well for them.

Oscar:  Do elfants have big bones?

MacIntosh:  Yep but they have a trunk to help them move them around.

Oscar:  And them has big ears too.

MacIntosh:  What does that have to do with anything?

Oscar:  What does having a trunk have to do with anything?

MacIntosh:  Touche.  Well I think you’re perfect just the way you are.

Oscar:  I is?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  When I look at you I think you look just right.

Oscar:  What does you thinks when you look at Dad?

MacIntosh:  Yikes.  Hoelee Moelee.  Oh boy.  Take your pick.  What do you think?

Oscar:  I thinks he should give peas a chance.

 

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