Oscar: Dad is trying a new diet.
MacIntosh: What’s it called?
Oscar: The John Lennon Diet. He took me with him to a group meeting last night.
MacIntosh: What were they talking about?
Oscar: All they were saying is “give peas a chance.”
Oscar: Will peas make you lose weight?
MacIntosh: Depends on how big your bladder is.
Oscar: Well it’s better than the last diet he tried.
MacIntosh: The Irish Pub Diet?
Oscar: Yep. He was actin’ strange with that one.
MacIntosh: In the first week he lost two days.
Oscar: Yep. Do you think I should go a diet MacIntosh?
MacIntosh: Which one?
Oscar: Is was thinkin’ maybe the Italian Diet.
MacIntosh: What’s in it?
Oscar: Pizza. Lots of pizza.
MacIntosh: Maybe you should try the West Highland White Terrier Diet. It’s popular in Scotland.
Oscar: That sounds good. What’s in it?
MacIntosh: You can only eat haggis but you can have all of it you want.
Oscar: Buts howse will I lose weight?
MacIntosh: Have you ever tasted haggis?
MacIntosh: Trust me…you will lose lots of weight.
Oscar: Mom says I’m not fat I just gots big bones.
MacIntosh: Dinosaurs had big bones. Things didn’t work out well for them.
Oscar: Do elfants have big bones?
MacIntosh: Yep but they have a trunk to help them move them around.
Oscar: And them has big ears too.
MacIntosh: What does that have to do with anything?
Oscar: What does having a trunk have to do with anything?
MacIntosh: Touche. Well I think you’re perfect just the way you are.
Oscar: I is?
MacIntosh: Yep. When I look at you I think you look just right.
Oscar: What does you thinks when you look at Dad?
MacIntosh: Yikes. Hoelee Moelee. Oh boy. Take your pick. What do you think?
Oscar: I thinks he should give peas a chance.