Cat Videos

Oscar:  I think somethin’s wrong with Mom.

MacIntosh:  Why do you say that?

Oscar:  She keeps watching cat videos.

MacIntosh:  Kitty Porn?

Oscar:  Yup.  Cats jumping into boxes, cats falling off of tables, cats riding Roomba vacuum cleaners, cats doin’ all sorts of stupid stuff.

MacIntosh:  Oh my.

Oscar:  Yup and she watches lots of videos where two different animals are good buddies.

MacIntosh:  Like me and you.

Oscar:  Nope.  Like a horse and a dog.  Or a goat and a donkey.  Or a monkey and an elfant or whatever they is called.

MacIntosh:  Sounds serious.

Oscar:  Yup.  Next thing you know she’s gonna come up with somethin’ like an alligator and a miniature pig.

MacIntosh:  Why does that bother you?

Oscar:  Cuz it’s not natural.  Some them things like to eats each other.

MacIntosh:  Maybe Mom would like a video of you palling around with a pizza.

Oscar:  Zactly.  I could say “Hi Mom.  Meet my good friend Mr. Pizza”

MacIntosh:  What’s his first name.

Oscar:  Pepperoni.  I calls him Peps.

MacIntosh:  What’s your favourite thing about Peps?

Oscar:  He’s extra large.

MacIntosh: What is your least favorite thing?

Oscar:  Sometimes he gets kinda cheesy.

MacIntosh:  Like Dad?

Oscar:  Yup.

MacIntosh:  What would you like to do with Mr. Pizza?

Oscar:  Have him over for dinner.

MacIntosh:  Oh boy.

Oscar:  So why’s do you thinks Mom likes them videos so much?

MacIntosh:  They confirm her world view.

Oscar:  Huh?

MacIntosh:  She believes every heart can connect with every heart.

Oscar:  But everything has a heart.

MacIntosh:  Exactly.  Everything’s connected.

Oscar:  But what about when peoples fight with each other?

MacIntosh:  She thinks that is disheartening.

Oscar:  So theys is not living in their heart but are somewhere else?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  Their hearts get closed by things like fear or anger or resentment.  Hearts are meant to be open.

Oscar:  Cuz that’s natural huh MacIntosh.  But I don’t thinks that true with me and Mr. Pizza.

MacIntosh:  No?

Oscar:  Cuz you can’t have your mate and eat it too.

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