Oscar: I think somethin’s wrong with Mom.
MacIntosh: Why do you say that?
Oscar: She keeps watching cat videos.
MacIntosh: Kitty Porn?
Oscar: Yup. Cats jumping into boxes, cats falling off of tables, cats riding Roomba vacuum cleaners, cats doin’ all sorts of stupid stuff.
MacIntosh: Oh my.
Oscar: Yup and she watches lots of videos where two different animals are good buddies.
MacIntosh: Like me and you.
Oscar: Nope. Like a horse and a dog. Or a goat and a donkey. Or a monkey and an elfant or whatever they is called.
MacIntosh: Sounds serious.
Oscar: Yup. Next thing you know she’s gonna come up with somethin’ like an alligator and a miniature pig.
MacIntosh: Why does that bother you?
Oscar: Cuz it’s not natural. Some them things like to eats each other.
MacIntosh: Maybe Mom would like a video of you palling around with a pizza.
Oscar: Zactly. I could say “Hi Mom. Meet my good friend Mr. Pizza”
MacIntosh: What’s his first name.
Oscar: Pepperoni. I calls him Peps.
MacIntosh: What’s your favourite thing about Peps?
Oscar: He’s extra large.
MacIntosh: What is your least favorite thing?
Oscar: Sometimes he gets kinda cheesy.
MacIntosh: Like Dad?
MacIntosh: What would you like to do with Mr. Pizza?
Oscar: Have him over for dinner.
MacIntosh: Oh boy.
Oscar: So why’s do you thinks Mom likes them videos so much?
MacIntosh: They confirm her world view.
MacIntosh: She believes every heart can connect with every heart.
Oscar: But everything has a heart.
MacIntosh: Exactly. Everything’s connected.
Oscar: But what about when peoples fight with each other?
MacIntosh: She thinks that is disheartening.
Oscar: So theys is not living in their heart but are somewhere else?
MacIntosh: Yep. Their hearts get closed by things like fear or anger or resentment. Hearts are meant to be open.
Oscar: Cuz that’s natural huh MacIntosh. But I don’t thinks that true with me and Mr. Pizza.
Oscar: Cuz you can’t have your mate and eat it too.