God Goes 0 For 4

Oscar:  Hellos everybody.  Wes got a special treat for you today.

MacIntosh:  Yep…we’re interviewing God.

Oscar:  And if yous don’t know it already, God don’t do a lot of interviews.

MacIntosh:  So it is our pleasure to introduce to you someone you all know….

Oscar:  You may call him God…

MacIntosh: or Allah, or Yahweh…

Oscar: or The Big Guy in the Sky…

MacIntosh:  Welcome…… God

God:  Hi boys….cough….cough…cough.

Oscar:  Whatchadoin’ God?

God.:  Just putting out this burning bush before we get started.  You should have told me this was a non-smoking area.

Oscar:  We thoughts you was all-knowing all that stuff.

MacIntosh:  So….God.  People are confused.  Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, Perry and Santorum all say you told them they were supposed to be the next President.  So you are 2 for 4 at best and maybe 0 for 4.  How can that be?

Oscar: Yeah that’s not very good results considerin’ yous God and everything.

God:  You two are quoting politicians like what they say happened…  actually happened?

MacIntosh:  Good point.  Let’s back up…did you tell Cain, Bachmann, et al that they would be the next President?

God:  I did mention that to Herman Cain.

Oscar:  You told Squirmin Herman he was gonna win?

God.:  Well yes….I wanted him to run so he would  be especially humiliated when the world learned what a scum bag he is to women.

MacIntosh:  So you made their vengeance your vengeance?

God:  Vengeance is always mine.

Oscar:  Sayeth you.  Whats about Rick Perry?

God:  I told him to run.  I didn’t tell him he would win.

MacIntosh:  Oops.

Oscar:  That’s funny God.

God:   Thanks little fella.

MacIntosh:  What about Michelle Bachmann….did you tell her to run?

God:  No.

Oscar:  So she just lied and made it up?

God:  You sound surprised.

MacIntosh:  Good point.   So is Santorum your pick then?

God:  Are you kidding me?  We have a special place in heaven reserved for Santorum.

Oscar:  Is it a nice place?

God:  That boy is going to spend eternity naked, on all fours, cleaning the floors at one of our gay bath houses.

Oscar:  Howse come you let him win inIowa?

God:  We wanted him to get accustomed to coming from behind.

MacIntosh:  Heaven has gay bath houses?

God:  Of course.

Oscar:  So if its not Cain…and its not any of them others…who is you gonna pick?

God:  I already made my pick…the same guy I been going with all season….but I don’t think he’s going to go for it.

Oscar:  The Donald?

God:  (God makes an exasperated face) No.  Tim Tebow.

This entry was posted in America, Campaign 2012, Wacky People and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to God Goes 0 For 4

  1. joem18b says:

    maybe one day you guys could interview God’s dog. check out what breed He is and who’s boss, Him or The Big Dude. i’d be interested to know.

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