Oscar: Hellos everybody. Wes got a special treat for you today.
MacIntosh: Yep…we’re interviewing God.
Oscar: And if yous don’t know it already, God don’t do a lot of interviews.
MacIntosh: So it is our pleasure to introduce to you someone you all know….
Oscar: You may call him God…
MacIntosh: or Allah, or Yahweh…
Oscar: or The Big Guy in the Sky…
MacIntosh: Welcome…… God
God: Hi boys….cough….cough…cough.
Oscar: Whatchadoin’ God?
God.: Just putting out this burning bush before we get started. You should have told me this was a non-smoking area.
Oscar: We thoughts you was all-knowing all that stuff.
MacIntosh: So….God. People are confused. Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, Perry and Santorum all say you told them they were supposed to be the next President. So you are 2 for 4 at best and maybe 0 for 4. How can that be?
Oscar: Yeah that’s not very good results considerin’ yous God and everything.
God: You two are quoting politicians like what they say happened… actually happened?
MacIntosh: Good point. Let’s back up…did you tell Cain, Bachmann, et al that they would be the next President?
God: I did mention that to Herman Cain.
Oscar: You told Squirmin Herman he was gonna win?
God.: Well yes….I wanted him to run so he would be especially humiliated when the world learned what a scum bag he is to women.
MacIntosh: So you made their vengeance your vengeance?
God: Vengeance is always mine.
Oscar: Sayeth you. Whats about Rick Perry?
God: I told him to run. I didn’t tell him he would win.
Oscar: That’s funny God.
God: Thanks little fella.
MacIntosh: What about Michelle Bachmann….did you tell her to run?
Oscar: So she just lied and made it up?
God: You sound surprised.
MacIntosh: Good point. So is Santorum your pick then?
God: Are you kidding me? We have a special place in heaven reserved for Santorum.
Oscar: Is it a nice place?
God: That boy is going to spend eternity naked, on all fours, cleaning the floors at one of our gay bath houses.
Oscar: Howse come you let him win inIowa?
God: We wanted him to get accustomed to coming from behind.
MacIntosh: Heaven has gay bath houses?
God: Of course.
Oscar: So if its not Cain…and its not any of them others…who is you gonna pick?
God: I already made my pick…the same guy I been going with all season….but I don’t think he’s going to go for it.
Oscar: The Donald?
God: (God makes an exasperated face) No. Tim Tebow.