Oscar: Welcomes everyone to this edition of Things People Say (TPS, tm). Today’s edition was inspired by Ann Coulter, who recently said “our blacks are better than their blacks.”
MacIntosh: For those of you new to Things People Say, Oscar and I pick subjects people talk about.
Oscar: Thens we find quotes on the internet or, sometimes, we just make stuff up.
MacIntosh: We compare what people have to say about a subject.
Oscar: Then afterwards, me and MacIntosh pretty much trash the peoples we don’t agree with and declares our friends the winner.
MacIntosh: So today we challenge Coulter’s statement that their blacks are better than our blacks.
Oscar: On their side we gots Clarence Thomas, Michael Steele and Herman Cain.
MacIntosh: AKA a Judge, a Clown and a Pizza King.
Oscar: And we have Obama, Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King.
MacIntosh: AKA, the Prez, a Frown and the Actual King.
Oscar: Is you black peoples ready to rumble?
MacIntosh: Our first subject is “how should we treat people that need help”. Jesse….
Jesse Jackson: “Never look down on someone except to help them up.”
Oscar: Oh I likes that.
MacIntosh: How about you Herman?
Herman Cain: “Hey baby…you want a job, right?”
MacIntosh: And from the grave we have Martin Luther King.
MLK: “ I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.”
MacIntosh: Clarence? You awake Clarence?
Clarence Thomas: Inaudible
Oscar: Now our next subject is “how do you feel about hope?” First President Obama…
Obama: “While we breathe, we will hope.”
Oscar: Now you Jesse…
Jesse Jackson: “Keep hope alive! “
MacIntosh: Herman…you seem eager to answer.
Herman Cain: “While we breathe, I will keep grope alive.”
MacIntosh: The question was about hope… h-o-p-e.
Herman Cain: Sorry.
MacIntosh: Our last question is called “achieving our dreams”. Clarence…are you with us on this?
Clarence Thomas: “MLK wanted to climb the mountain top. I just wanted to climb Anita Hill.”
Oscar: It’s good to dream big fella.
Obama: “… our destiny will not be written for us, but by us; by all those men and women who are not content to settle for the world as it is; who have courage to remake the world as it should be.”
Oscar: Kind of Obama’s version of it takes a village. Herman….what would you say to someone about achieving their dreams?
Herman Cain: “If you want to go up, you gotta go down.”
Oscar: You gots any other tracks in your mind?
MacIntosh: And finally, because we haven’t heard from Michael Steele yet….
Michael Steele: “Was I partying? Absolutely! Absolutely! I was like ‘Look at her. Hey, what’s up!’ I was doing the whole thing.”
MacIntosh: Well…that does it for today’s Things People Say. What did you think Oscar?
Oscar: I thought our blacks were wayyyyyyy better than their blacks.
Oscar: Well…our blacks love their fellow man and wants every peoples to be happy and to reach their dreams.
MacIntosh: What about their blacks?
Oscar: Their blacks are mean and vicious puss misers.
MacIntosh: Ok…..Good luck and Goodnight.
Oscar: Did you hears what Herman Cain told me?
Oscar: He said he was our other brother from another mother.
MacIntosh: Did he have his glasses on?
MacIntosh: He probably thought we were the Koch brothers.