Oscar: Hello Michelle and welcome to Macintosh and Oscar.
Michele: Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here.
MacIntosh: We would like to focus today on your sense of humour. A lot of liberals just don’t “get” you.
Michele: You’re right.
Oscar: Like whens you said Hurricane Irene and the earthquakes were God telling us we need to cut the deficit. I thought that was hilarious but lots of people thought you were stark ravin’ mads.
Michele: If you watch the tape you can see the corner of my mouth turn up when I said that….that’s what happens when I’m just kidding around.
MacIntosh: I’ll admit I missed it. How about when you said “Gay marriage is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least thirty years. I am not under-stating that.”
Oscar: You was kiddin’ again huh Michele?
Michele: That’s the way we roll in Minnesota.
MacIntosh: Let’s try another one. You once said “If we took away the minimum wage – if conceivably it was gone, we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”
Oscar: I’m dyin’ from laughter over here.
Michele: Actually I was serious as a straightjacket about that. Think about it. Right now a California employer has to pay each worker $8.00 an hour. If they only had to pay $1.00, they could hire 8 workers instead of one. No unemployment.
MacIntosh: How would they live on $40 a week?
Michele: Who knows? I’m solving the unemployment problem here.
Oscar: Yous puttin’ us on huh Michele.
MacIntosh: On the environment, you said “Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is harmful gas.” Was that a joke?
Michele: If carbon dioxide was harmful would they put it in Coca-Cola?
MacIntosh: That would make sense if the atmosphere was made of Coca-Cola.
Oscar: Hoelee Moelee that would be a bunch of Coca-Cola.
Michele: Whatever. I once said “I just take the bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist, not trained to be a scientist. I’m not a deep thinker on all of this. I wish I was. I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.”
MacIntosh: Joking or serious?
Michele: Just joking. How could I know so much if I wasn’t knowledgeable?
Oscar: Eggszactly. So the reasons normals people think you is crazy is cuz they don’t knows when you is jokin’ or nots jokin’.
MacIntosh: Maybe you should work out some signals so we can know.
Michele: Like what?
Oscar: You could wears a hat when you is not jokin’.
Michele: What kind of hat?
MacIntosh: Maybe something in tin foil.