Interview With A Teabagger

Oscar:  Hello everyone.  If you reads what we sayz you know sometimes we make fun of teabaggers people.

MacIntosh:  And sometimes we wonder if we are being fair.  After all, everyone deserves respect…especially our elders.

Oscar:  Eggszactly.  So wes decided we would interview a teabagger person sos they had plenty of chances to say whats they want to say.

MacIntosh:  So we asked around until we found the perfect representative of the Teabaggers.

Oscar:  Her name is Gladys Pickens and here is her picture.

MacIntosh:  Gladys is a member of the Southern Baptist Church and is a retired teller from the Hot Springs Savings and Loans.  She has been married 48 years to Horace Pickens.

Oscar:  Whiles we will be ‘spectful  – you can depend on us for a hard hittin’ interview where wes ask the tough questions and follows up relentlessly.

Gladys Pickens - Teabagger Lady

Oscar:  Hi Gladys….is it okays if I calls you Gladys.

Gladys:  Why of course honeybunch…aren’t you a sweet lookin’ thing.

Oscar:  I gets that a lot.  My mom says I got pretty eyes.

MacIntosh:  Hmmmm.  The interview Oscar?

Oscar:  Oh yeah… so howse long you been a teabagger?

Gladys:  Would you like a cookie Oscar?

Oscar:  Does Tiger want another cheap blond?  What kinds you got?

MacIntosh:  Oscar…hard hitting interview….?

Oscar:  You gots any ice cream to go with this?

MacIntosh:  So Gladys…how long have you been a teabagger?

Gladys:  We joined the party right after Hussein was elected president.

Oscar:  Is you a racists Gladys?

Gladys:  Of course not honeybunch…why…we even hired a black janitor at our church.

MacIntosh:  Then why don’t you call him Barack or President Obama?

Gladys:  We did until it became apparent he was turning America into a socialist hell, bankrupting the nation and forcing us to live under Sharia Law.

MacIntosh:  When did that become clear?

Gladys:  In December of 2008.

Oscar:  Obama wasn’t the president yet.

Gladys:  Not yet but our source knew it was coming.

MacIntosh:  And what are your sources?

Gladys:  There is only one source that’s fair and balanced.

MacIntosh: How do you feel about health care?

Gladys:  American has the greatest health care system in the world because we have free markets and private insurance companies.

Oscar:  Did an insurance company buy you that scooter?

Gladys:  That’s right…I got this through Medicare.

MacIntosh:  Medicare is a government medical system…socialized medicine.

Gladys:  But its not an Entitlement.

Oscar:  Its not?

Gladys:  Its only an Entitlement if you didn’t earn it and we earned our Medicare.

MacIntosh:  In the new GOP budget plan they want to get rid of Medicare.

Gladys:  But not if you are our age.

MacIntosh:  What about younger people like…you know…your children?

Gladys:  They haven’t earned it so it’s an Entitlement.

MacIntosh:  You earned it but they didn’t? What did they do different than you?

Gladys:  Is this ‘gotcha journalism’?

Oscar:  Who is your favourite for 2012?

Gladys:  Sarah all the way.  Don’t you love her?

MacIntosh:  Which one of her programs for moving America forward do you like the best?

Gladys:  Cut the deficit.

Oscar:  I forgets….howse did she say she was gonna do that again?

Gladys:  There you go again.

Oscar:  What?

Gladys:  Gotcha journalism.

MacIntosh:  Do you believe Obama is a citizen?

Gladys:  Yes I do.

Oscar:  That’s a relief.

Gladys:  Just not a citizen of this country.

MacIntosh:  Do you believe Obama is a Christian?

Gladys:  That’s impossible – Hussein is not a Christian name.

MacIntosh:  TARP: was it a Bush program or an Obama program?

Gladys:  Obama.

Oscar:  Howse about Polio?

Gladys:  Obama

MacIntosh:  The Holocaust?

Gladys:  Obama

MacIntosh:  Thank you Gladys for taking time out from your day filled with hate and fear to talk with us.

Gladys:  You’re welcome and God Bless America.

Oscar:  ‘Cept Obama?

Gladys:  Of course.

This entry was posted in America, Campaign 2012, Teabaggers, Wacky People and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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