Oscar: Hello everyone. If you reads what we sayz you know sometimes we make fun of teabaggers people.
MacIntosh: And sometimes we wonder if we are being fair. After all, everyone deserves respect…especially our elders.
Oscar: Eggszactly. So wes decided we would interview a teabagger person sos they had plenty of chances to say whats they want to say.
MacIntosh: So we asked around until we found the perfect representative of the Teabaggers.
Oscar: Her name is Gladys Pickens and here is her picture.
MacIntosh: Gladys is a member of the Southern Baptist Church and is a retired teller from the Hot Springs Savings and Loans. She has been married 48 years to Horace Pickens.
Oscar: Whiles we will be ‘spectful – you can depend on us for a hard hittin’ interview where wes ask the tough questions and follows up relentlessly.
Oscar: Hi Gladys….is it okays if I calls you Gladys.
Gladys: Why of course honeybunch…aren’t you a sweet lookin’ thing.
Oscar: I gets that a lot. My mom says I got pretty eyes.
MacIntosh: Hmmmm. The interview Oscar?
Oscar: Oh yeah… so howse long you been a teabagger?
Gladys: Would you like a cookie Oscar?
Oscar: Does Tiger want another cheap blond? What kinds you got?
MacIntosh: Oscar…hard hitting interview….?
Oscar: You gots any ice cream to go with this?
MacIntosh: So Gladys…how long have you been a teabagger?
Gladys: We joined the party right after Hussein was elected president.
Oscar: Is you a racists Gladys?
Gladys: Of course not honeybunch…why…we even hired a black janitor at our church.
MacIntosh: Then why don’t you call him Barack or President Obama?
Gladys: We did until it became apparent he was turning America into a socialist hell, bankrupting the nation and forcing us to live under Sharia Law.
MacIntosh: When did that become clear?
Gladys: In December of 2008.
Oscar: Obama wasn’t the president yet.
Gladys: Not yet but our source knew it was coming.
MacIntosh: And what are your sources?
Gladys: There is only one source that’s fair and balanced.
MacIntosh: How do you feel about health care?
Gladys: American has the greatest health care system in the world because we have free markets and private insurance companies.
Oscar: Did an insurance company buy you that scooter?
Gladys: That’s right…I got this through Medicare.
MacIntosh: Medicare is a government medical system…socialized medicine.
Gladys: But its not an Entitlement.
Oscar: Its not?
Gladys: Its only an Entitlement if you didn’t earn it and we earned our Medicare.
MacIntosh: In the new GOP budget plan they want to get rid of Medicare.
Gladys: But not if you are our age.
MacIntosh: What about younger people like…you know…your children?
Gladys: They haven’t earned it so it’s an Entitlement.
MacIntosh: You earned it but they didn’t? What did they do different than you?
Gladys: Is this ‘gotcha journalism’?
Oscar: Who is your favourite for 2012?
Gladys: Sarah all the way. Don’t you love her?
MacIntosh: Which one of her programs for moving America forward do you like the best?
Gladys: Cut the deficit.
Oscar: I forgets….howse did she say she was gonna do that again?
Gladys: There you go again.
Gladys: Gotcha journalism.
MacIntosh: Do you believe Obama is a citizen?
Gladys: Yes I do.
Oscar: That’s a relief.
Gladys: Just not a citizen of this country.
MacIntosh: Do you believe Obama is a Christian?
Gladys: That’s impossible – Hussein is not a Christian name.
MacIntosh: TARP: was it a Bush program or an Obama program?
Oscar: Howse about Polio?
MacIntosh: The Holocaust?
MacIntosh: Thank you Gladys for taking time out from your day filled with hate and fear to talk with us.
Gladys: You’re welcome and God Bless America.
Oscar: ‘Cept Obama?
Gladys: Of course.