Oscar: Hey thems got some Oscar Awards tonight and no one let me knows about it.
MacIntosh: Yeah…the Oscars. I guess they forgot to check in with you.
Oscar: Well howse they gonna know whose I want to win if they don’t ask me?
MacIntosh: It’s in California….maybe they can read your vibrations from there and know who you would pick.
Oscar: Yikes. I betters be more careful what I thinks.
MacIntosh: So what are your favorites?
Oscar: I picks blueberry and cream ice cream and beef sausages.
MacIntosh: No…no…for the awards. Who do you pick for Best Actress?
Oscar: That’s easy…its Ann Coulter. She’s been actin’ all year likes she’s a female person.
MacIntosh: She should be Best Actor then.
Oscar: Oh yeah, you’re right. Lets see…Best Actress…it’s a tie between Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin.
MacIntosh: Really? Why do you pick them?
Oscar: Well….they boths doin’ a great job actin’ like they could be serious presidential contenders. Sarah’s got her own TV show and Michelle does a consistently good jobs of delivering her lies.
MacIntosh: Lines….actresses deliver their lines.
Oscar: Oh. Sarah then
MacIntosh: How about Best Film?
MacIntosh: British Petroleum?
Oscar: Yep. They made a film of oil that covers the Gulf of Mexico.
MacIntosh: Good point. Best Comedy?
Oscar: Christine O’Donnell for sure.
MacIntosh: Yep. How do you top that?
Oscar: I AM NOT A WITCH!!!
MacIntosh: Don’t get me started. What about Best Foreign Film?
Oscar: I picks BP again.
MacIntosh: Stupid question…sorry.
Oscar: That’s okays MacIntosh. Yous can’t know everything.
MacIntosh: What about The Kings Speech?
Oscar: I had a dream…I’s has gone to the mountain top….
MacIntosh: No…the movie.
Oscar: I d.d.d.d.d.d.d.on’t know n.n.n.n.nothin’ about that.
MacIntosh: Smart ass.