Oscar: Hillary Clinton says she likes Suleiman in Egypt
MacIntosh: That means we have selected him to be POTUS in Egypt.
Oscar: I thought that meant President of the United States.
MacIntosh: In Egypt it means Persecution, Oppression, Torture Under Servitude to America.
Oscar: Is he qualified?
MacIntosh: Excellent credentials. He’s been the CIA’s man in Cairo for 20 years and was the go-to guy for the Clintons when they started doing renditions.
MacIntosh: Yeah….that’s where you get around our laws against torture by sending them to another country where they will torture them for us. It’s a way to outsource a Complete Lack of Morality.
Oscar: Did Bush do it too.
MacIntosh: Yep…same reason.
Oscar: Yikes. And Suleiman made sure somebody tortured peoples Clinton and Bush didn’t like.
MacIntosh: Better yet…he likes to do it himself.
Oscar: So he’s got hands-on experience?
MacIntosh: Yep. One guy who turned out not to be a terrorist, an Aussie national named Mamdouh Habib, reported he had a little T Party with Suleiman where he was hung by a hook, electrocuted, immersed in water up to his nostrils, his fingers were broken and other things we shouldn’t mention here.
Oscar: So he’s very thorough. Did he gives up any information?
MacIntosh: He didn’t have any information but he had to give them something so he finally confessed to buggering a kangaroo.
Oscar: That’s embarrassing.
MacIntosh: Yeah but he kept his fingernails. Another guy named Al Libi wasn’t as lucky.
Oscar: What happened to him?
MacIntosh: He was also given a T Party and he told Suleiman that Al Queda was training people in Iraq.
Oscar: Which is what Colin Powell told the U.N.
MacIntosh: But when they released him he said he only said that so they would quit torturing him.
Oscar: But Bush used the information anyway.
MacIntosh: Yep. Then Suleiman flew over to Libya where Al Libi was recovering and by the time he left Al Libi was dead.
Oscar: So he dots his I’s and crosses his Tees.
MacIntosh: Great reputation. In the mideast people say if you want information send them to Jordan, if you want to punish someone send them to Syria, if you want someone to disappear send them to Egypt.
Oscar: And this is the guy we think should lead Egypt’s transition to freedom?
MacIntosh: He’s our guy.
Oscar: Sounds like a bastard to me.
MacIntosh: But he’s our bastard.