Oscar: Hoelee moelee them Muslim terror peoples is about to kill us.
Oscar: They found one of thems book in the Aridzona desert where theys must have dropped it.
Oscar: It was a book about martyrs and suicide bombers.
Oscar: Aren’t you gonna say something?”
MacIntosh: It’s all about managing a news cycle.
MacIntosh: First the border patrol finds the book in the desert along with a 17 year old copy of True Detective magazine, two empty Coors cans and a California Lotto ticket.
MacIntosh: Then Fox News runs an “exclusive report” and talks about how Muslims are in Mexico learning to speak Spanish and getting Mexican documents…but fails to mention an important fact.
Oscar: Which one?
MacIntosh: The book is written in English and is available on Amazon.com.
Oscar: Whys would a Muslim terrorist be sneakin’ in with a martyr’s book written in English?
MacIntosh: Exactly. They also fail to mention that Glenn Beck has a movie coming out where he alleges that Muslim terrorist are working with Mexican drug cartels.
Oscar: Whys would a Mexican drug cartel do that?
MacIntosh: They wouldn’t.
Oscar: Whats happens then?
MacIntosh: Then we get a quote from The Republican Politician Most In Need Of Attention And Willing To Say Anything To Get It”.
Oscar: Who’s that?
MacIntosh: This time it was Trent Franks, R-Az, who said “If terrorists ever come across our border with nuclear weapons… they (could) hold an entire city hostage,” “This book is a grave reminder of the mindset and intent of the indescribably dangerous enemy we face.”
Oscar: Did he mention the empty Coors cans?
MacIntosh: Nope. Then Glenn Beck writes an article on his website, referencing the Fox News exclusive with a note from the editor at the end that says “ A portion of the recent documentary, “Rumor of War,” released by Glenn Beck deals specifically with this topic. It discusses Iran’s infiltration of Mexican drug cartels and the push to enter America through its southern border.
Oscar: He saw it comin’!!” What happens then?
MacIntosh: The story disappears leaving a trail of 800 comments on Beck’s site talking about how stupid liberals are for not recognizing this grave threat and more comments at Stormfront.org saying our border policy should be to “shoot on sight and ask questions later.”
Oscar: That’s it?
MacIntosh: Oh no….at teabagger meetings across the country octogenarians will whisper hoarsely to each other “did you hear they found a martyrs book in the Arizona desert left behind by a jihadists? Yeah…I heard it on Fox News and Glenn Beck, bless his sweet heart, saw it coming.”
Oscar: But the whole thing is just a bunch of booogaloo.
Oscar: Yeah…that’s what I say when I don’t have a quarter for the jar.