Born To Be Mild

Oscar:  Howse come them teabaggers love mean talk so much?

MacIntosh:  Why are they defending their use of violent rhetoric?

Oscar:  Yeah, howse come?

MacIntosh:  Walter Mitty combined with penis envy.

Oscar:  Huh?

MacIntosh:  James Thurber wrote a short story about a guy named Walter Mitty.  He’s a ordinary, meek guy in real life so he invents scenes where he is a brave hero.

Oscar:  I thought they called them ‘chicken hawks’.

MacIntosh:  Same thing.  The most dangerous thing teabaggers ever did was show up late to a Kiwanis luncheon but they have an inner Rambo itching to play out.

Oscar:  And itching can hurt huh MacIntosh.

MacIntosh:  Yep.  So they get all locked and loaded in their mobility scooter and cruise over to the teabagger meeting going “ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa” pretending they are picking off tree hugging liberals along the way.

Oscar:  Are they flyin’ their colors?

MacIntosh:  Oh yeah…they got leather jackets just like Sarah Palin with lettering that says  ‘Born to be Mild’.

Oscar:  That’s scary.  What do they do at the teabagger meeting.

MacIntosh:  They listen to speeches about the tree of liberty needing to be fed with the blood of patriots and if they can’t win with ballots they should use bullets instead.

Oscar:  Yikes.  What do they do after the meeting?

MacIntosh:  They stop at A&W for a root beer

Oscar:  That’s it?

MacIntosh:  Yep.

Oscar:  That’s why they like violent rhetoric so much?

MacIntosh:  It’s all they got.  Even an A&W root beer can get boring after awhile.

Oscar:  Is that why they buy rifles?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  They like to sit in their power assisted Barca loungers and pretend they are snipers at the Democratic National Convention

Oscar:  Do they go “ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa?”

MacIntosh:  Yep.  Then they yell out “how do you feel Nancy Pelosi now that you’ve met a real man with a real gun?”

Oscar:  That’s why they own rifles?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  They need at least one thing that is long and hard.

This entry was posted in America, Teabaggers, Wacky People and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Born To Be Mild

  1. Uncle Stever says:

    The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
    but the heart of the fool to the left.

    Ecclesiastes 10.2

    Some great sage 2500 years ago obviously had prophetic vision of the coming of
    MacIntosh and Oscar

    • dwelchnz says:

      Oscar: Yikes. That Ecclesiastes guy saw us coming.
      MacIntosh: I’m more worried about the Mayans.

      • Ziggy and Zoe says:

        “Woe unto the whitest of pups from the Isles when the orange faced man grabs the gavel from lady with eternally surprised look!” – 2 Westies 4:20

    • Ziggy and Zoe says:

      “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.” – Ecclesiastes 1:2

      Some goat-herder was bored, smoked a bowl and meditated on a non-existent God. At least there is a silly little book to put in cheap motel rooms over 2500 years later.

      • Uncle Stever says:

        Isaiah 5:21-22

        21Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes
        and clever in their own sight.

        22 Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine
        and champions at mixing drinks.

        I wouldn’t be concerned about the Mayan prophecy, hadn’t helped them much in the long run. LOL

      • Ziggy and Zoe says:

        It figures the Bible would be anti-intellectual.

        I wouldn’t be worried about the Bible thumpers prophecies either, they have predicted quite a few dates as well and never gotten them right either…

  2. steve says:

    long and hard, just the way they like it ah-uh, ah-uh

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