Oscar: Howse come them people in the Congress spent all that time reading the constitution?
MacIntosh: They were teaching the new congressmen to read the constitution like a teabagger.
Oscar: Teabaggers read it different?.
MacIntosh: Oh yeah…they got skills.
Oscar: Howse they do it?
MacIntosh: They know how to read the parts they like and ignore the other parts. It’s like the 2nd amendment.
Oscar: Whats does it say?
MacIntosh: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a Free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
Oscar: Howse do they read it.
MacIntosh: They just ignore the first half of the sentence.
Oscar: Wow. That’s handy. Whats if they don’t like a whole part?
MacIntosh: Then they become strict constructionists.
Oscar: Whats that mean?
MacIntosh: If it doesn’t say something very specific then it didn’t happen.
Oscar: Like that judge guy says about the 14th amendment?
MacIntosh: Exactly. Scalia says the 14th amendment doesn’t protect women’s rights.
Oscar: What does it say?
MacIntosh: It says no state should “deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” But Scalia says it doesn’t apply to women.
Oscar: Why’s not.
MacIntosh: Because it doesn’t say women… it says persons.
MacIntosh: Same reason they think the citizenship clause in the 14th should not apply to Latinos.
Oscar: That thing about being born in America??
MacIntosh: Yep. It says “All persons born or naturalized in the United States…are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”
Oscar: I get. It doesn’t work for Latinos cuz it says persons…not Latino persons.
MacIntosh: That’s it. So they read the constitution but they did it the teabagger way.
Oscar: They skipped the parts they don’t like?
MacIntosh: Yep. They left out the clause that says black people are only entitled to 3/5s of a vote.
Oscar: That’s convenient.
MacIntosh: But it wasn’t enough…they still got in trouble.
Oscar: What happened?
MacIntosh: They allowed two congressmen to vote that had never been sworn in.
Oscar: Where does it say theys have to do that?
MacIntosh: In the constitution.