Have Yourself A Liberal Little Christmas

Oscar: Hoe-lee yikes the liberals are tryin’ to kill Christmas!

MacIntosh: Not true.

Oscar: Uh huh…Bill O’Reilly says sos and hes too tall to be wrong.

MacIntosh: He’s wrong.

Oscar: Whys he say that then?

MacIntosh: Santa skipped his house one Christmas and he’s still pissed off. He didn’t get the loofah he was hoping for.

Oscar: Poor Bill. Whys would liberals want to kill Christmas?

MacIntosh: Liberals think everyone should celebrate the holiday in their own way.

Oscar: Whats does Bill O”Reilly want?

MacIntosh: Besides a loofah? He wants everyone to celebrate Christmas like Christians do.

Oscar: Cuz theys invented Christmas, huh MacIntosh.

MacIntosh: Nope…people have celebrated the winter solstice since they noticed the days started getting longer and bikini weather was not far away.

Oscar: Sos the Christians stole Christmas?

MacIntosh: Yep and they don’t want anyone to steal it back.

Oscar: Whats do Christians do different on Christmas?

MacIntosh: Not much….some go to church….most just give it lip service, pig out and watch football games. But they do like to tell the old stories.

Oscar: Likes what?

MacIntosh: Like Christ was born unto a virgin, there was three wise guys, stuff like that.

Oscar: Is that true?

MacIntosh: Nope. They stole that too…those stories started three thousand years before Christ was born and appear over and over in mideastern culture…Horus, Zoroaster, Krishna. Virgin births were a dime a dozen.

Oscar: Wheres did they come from?

MacIntosh: Quick thinking and a forgiving husband.

Oscar: Ifs the Christians stole Christmas and made up all that stuff….

MacIntosh: Yeah?

Oscar: Then…then…then…

MacIntosh: Take a deep breath Oscar.

Oscar: Then what about Santy Claus?

MacIntosh: What about him?

Oscar: Is Santy real?

MacIntosh: Oh yeah…everybody agrees on that.

Oscar: Does he really have flying reindeer?

MacIntosh: You bet….and Rudolf has a glowing nose.

Oscar: And is there elves peoples?

MacIntosh: Sure…all of that is rock-solid. You don’t need to worry about Santa Claus.

Oscar: Yippee! Yippee!

MacIntosh: Feel better?

Oscar: Yep. I hopes he knows I’s been a really good dog.

MacIntosh: I’ll tell dad.

Oscar: Whys dad?

MacIntosh: He and Santa go way back.


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15 Responses to Have Yourself A Liberal Little Christmas

  1. woot, thankyou! I finally came to a site where the webmaster knows what they’re talking about. Do you know how many results are in Google when I search.. too many! It’s so annoying having to go from page after page after page, wasting my day away with thousands of people just copying eachother’s articles… bah. Anyway, thankyou very much for the info anyway, much appreciated.

    • Ziggy and Zoe says:

      Thanks for the metaphysical apologist… it cracks us up when someone tries to fit metaphysical dribble into the scientific context.

    • Uncle Stever says:

      They are now trying to politically correct up Christmas Stories so that they don’t offend nobody and that everybody everywhere can enjoy them. So this is a story thta was formerly known as “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” but is now known as “‘Twas The Night Before a Non-Denominational Winter Holiday”. A-hem…

      ‘Twas the night before a non-denominational winter holiday,

      and all through the house,

      not a creature was stirring,

      not even a mouse.

      The neutral gift sacks were hung by the chimney with care

      In hopes that a non-specific holiday figure would be soon be there.

      Children of every race, creed, and nationality,

      Were nestled snug in their beds,

      While visions of sugar-free plums,

      Danced in their heads.

      When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter,

      I got out of bed to see what was the matter.

      (And to find out who was violating the neighborhood sound level ordinance!)

      But what to my wondering eyes did appear?

      But an emissions-free vehicle,

      And 8 sized-challenged reindeer.

      Holiday figure was so lively and quick

      I knew in a moment it must be…holiday figure.

      He had a broad but normal face

      And an advanced sized belly,

      And he laughed: Lady of Evening! Lady of the Evening! Lady of the Evening!

      Larry – Now can you believe that? What in the world — you can’t even say “Ho! Ho! Ho!” anymore?! What kind of commie crap is this? I don’t care who you are his name is Santy Clause and he cracks deer with a horsewhip, breaks into people’s houses, drinks rum and eggnog, and looks like Uncle Jessie from “The Dukes of Hazard”…end of story!

      • Ziggy and Zoe says:

        “Rage, rage against the dying of the light, Uncle Stever.”

        It is nice that you have such a high opinion of yourself.

        Kudos and Happy Holidays.

  2. Uncle Stever says:

    Saint Nicholas rests in the Cathedral of Bari Italy…

  3. Uncle Stever says:

    Time, calendars points of civil war and division among the Jewish sects

    Time was regarded differently back then, time was Holy. We in the modern world are obsessed with time. We tell time, keep time, mark time, fill time. We have alarm clocks, atomic clocks, cuckoo clocks, pocket watches, and stop watches. consult chronicles, registries, annals, journals, time sheets, time cards, logs, date books, date slips, and timetables. Time obsesses us, time possesses us. It was not so in ancient times.

    Inhabitants of the ancient world generally did without the chronometric cycles that structure our lives. Framers for the most part, they were concerned with little more than the seasons, and the changing weather the seasons brought with them. Though it seems incredible to us, ancient testimony shows that the average person often did not know what year is was. Loner spans of time were utterly beyond normal comprehension. Peasants appearing before the Spanish Inquisition could not say when asked how old they were. Most people in the ancient world did not think measuring time was important.
    But there were two groups for whom it was important: astronomers and priests. In antiquity the two were often the same. Priests were interested in time for different reasons than we are. Our interest in timekeeping usually springs from economic concerns (time is money). Ancient priests kept track of it as a way of serving God.
    For them, time was sacred. The astronomical bodies by which time was measured had been created by God; consequently, its measurement was a sacred priestly task.
    This task gave the festival calendars, we who celebrate Passover or Easter.

    Calendars, or writings that presuppose them, comprise a very substantial percentage of the Dead Sea caches. Indeed, adherence to a peculiar calendar is the thread that runs through hundreds of the Dead Sea Scrolls. More than any other single element, the calendar binds these works together. It is the calendar that makes these scrolls a collection. The calendar is the intentional element. No matter who wrote the scrolls or put them in the caves, the manuscripts in some sense, for a library, because they all embrace one particular type of solar calendar and its ancillary development.

    Pope says Jesus followed Enochen Calendar.
    http://www.ejpress.org/article/15698

    We can’t fully reconstruct these ancient calendars because some of the ancient meanings are lost. Calendars had been a source of division among the Jewish sects. Palestine/ Judah was a very divided under Roman occupation of the period of the Gospels. Sadducee, Pharisees, and Essene being the leading three schools of Jewish thought as recorded by Joseph. Calendar wars can be vicious and irresistibly divisive.

    Understanding the various calendar systems can be demanding. Example the week is Holy so you couldn’t break it, so the calendar was based on 364 day. The inter-calculation with lunar and our knowledge of ancient Hebrew is far from perfect. Some of the ancient calendars us a 49 year jubilee cycle, and 294 year of six jubilees, three year lunar month cycles system after 36 lunar months a leap month is added and synchronized sun and moon again. Just a couple of examples of large volume of calendars not all using the same divisons, some deal with festivals others to priesthood duty rotations, phases of the moon, calendar of heavenly signs, synchronistic calendars, Priestley service Sabbath entrance, Priestly service change of seasons, priestly service Sabbath, month, and festival year 4, etc… etc… etc..

    The solar day is 365.2422, the Enoch based calendars are within 365.2423 our Gregorian 365.2425.

    • Ziggy and Zoe says:

      Three long posts to describe metaphysical nonsense.

      Nice job.

      Happy Holidays.

      Z & Z

      • Uncle Stever says:

        Mental masturbate what you want, ancient calendars had been far more advanced than those use today, and earth based astronomy has only recently caught up. I myself have rather low opinion of the western superiority WASP White Anglo-Saxon western view of order.

        Given that the Talmud and Gospels had not yet been written at the time of these events, one most look to other sources of the period, to understand the ‘historical’ context of the period. Understanding the cultural, and geopolitical conditions of this period from the quasi-liberation from Maccabees to the 1st Jewish Revolt. Many would be surprised to know that Herod was best friends with Mark Anthony, and following Cleopatra and Mark Anthony defeat Octavian is declared Augustus, the old Republic is now an Empire. Herod played both sides during this conflict and eventually secured the title “King of the Jews” from Rome once Herod paid enough tribute to underwrite Augustus recent campaign.

        The Book of Romans – attributed to Paul was written following the return of the Jews to Rome following the expulsion in 49AD.
        I myself am not a big fan of Paul, I favor James the brother.

        Remnants exist today of these earlier periods which survived by being beyond the boundaries of the Roman and Byzantine empires, many of these cultures history had been nearly destroyed between the 17th-19th century colonial periods.

        Followers of John the Baptist, the Mandeans of Iraq.
        Saint Thomas Christians of India, the Nasri.
        Ethiopian ethiopian tewahedo church.

        I haven voiced my personnel theological views, only historical context into this period.

        Regardless of ones beliefs, one should be respectful of others and this is something that is gravely lacking. To disregard history and other cultures one is no better than those who use dogma, tradition to justify burning, and destruction etc.

        Ignorance is temporary, stupidity is permanent

  4. Uncle Stever says:

    Crucifixion –

    Pentecost – Peter quotes from the Prophet Joel….
    Joel: 17 “`In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams. 18 Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy. 19 I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke. 20 The sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord. 21 And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'”

    Wow, blood ok – the crucifixion, fire – tngues of fire appeared over the Apostles at Pentecost ok. But the Sun turned to darkness and the moon to blood????????????

    The moon to blood, blood moon is an ancient technical term – lunar eclipse…..
    The only light which hits the moon in a lunar eclipses is refracted, red shifted.
    Yeshua was killed on a Friday, we know this because all four gospels tell he was killed on preparation day, before sundown. Passover fell on a Friday this year. We have three clues…. Lunar eclipse, preparation, Passover as to the calendar dates…
    Additionally we know other points such as when Pilate governed,

    April 3, 33AD

    Earthquake and clouds blocking the sun, then as the moon rises on April 3, 33AD its in lunar eclipse….. Blood Moon….. What time was this of the day 3pm, the moment Yeshua died on the cross. Looking to Mark, he records it was the 3rd hour they crucified him, that’s 9am counting from six. At noon the six hour the sky is darkened.

    On the 9th hour Yeshua quotes from the 22nd Psalm. My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

    Now lets look to the constellations again, remember Jupiter crowning Regulus three times in a triple conjunction, with the constellation Virgo clothed in the sun, and the new moon of the Jewish New Year at her feet.

    Now fast forward the the crucifixion, 2pm the moon has returned to the constellation Virgo, a full moon, a life fully lived. At 3pm the moon to blood, at the foot of Virgo.
    There is more. If you could stand on the moon at 3pm that day and look to the earth you would see the earth within the constellation Aries (Ram) passover lamb….

    What can one conclude from this? The birth , crucifixion had all been part of the natural order since creation… A clockwork star… Flung into creation from before time…

    Purchase a copy of Starrynight Pro and look for yourself…

  5. Uncle Stever says:

    Poor Don, uninformed again. First of all nothing was stolen from anybody. Well maybe the original faith of the Nazarene lead by the Despoynsi, later usurped by Rome in 318AD. But that’s much later on.

    Back to Christmas December 25th is actually not Yeshua date of birth, that was back in June 2BC. What December 25th are the days around the 25th, when the Magi or Magus first visited Herod’s court asking about the Messiah of prophecy. We don’t know to much about them, so had been good others bad. Philo of Alexander had written of them and praises the eastern school of Magi. They had been out in the area of Babylon, same area of the earlier exile of the tribes. December 25th is the first time that gentiles came to pay homage to the Messiah. Jupiter (king planet) was in retrograde motion it was visible from Jerusalem to the south over Bethlehem. More on Jupiter to follow.

    Context:
    You have to look at the gospels from a Jewish priesthood perspective of the period. Yes the gospels are JEWISH there over 176 cross references among the (Essenes) Dead Sea Scrolls liturgy codex’s and the gospels, only 19 with Josephus works and 18 with the Pharisees Talmud??? Why because its Messianic… Pharisees had been the opposition who later wrote a curse against Yeshua and his Nazarenes followers called the Birkat haMINIM in 95AD. How do we know this the ancient codex of this benediction was found in Cairo 1925 – Also you have to look at related documents of the period the earliest copies of Josephus list Herod’s death in 1BC. You got a oops later around the 15th century translations. Earliest have 1BC not 4BC. Also other historical works from the Roman era.
    but back to the our original topic..

    Most people assume that names of the constellations are astrology actually they are astronomy observation, calculation, and inter-calculation with lunar calendars. the terms are very old so old they are found in the oldest book of the Bible “Job”. God slams Job in chapter 9 and 38. Issiah 40 also refers to the stars. Now look to the verbs of Davids psalm 19 ‘ the heavens -“declare, proclaim, pour speech etc….”.

    In addition to the prophets there are nine bullet points which the star has to perform
    1. It signified birth.
    2. It signified kingship.
    3. It had a connection with the Jewish nation.
    4. It rose in the east, like other stars.
    5. It appeared at a precise time.
    6. Herod didn’t know when it appeared.
    7. It endured over time.
    8. It was ahead of the Magi as they went south from Jerusalem to Bethlehem.
    9. It stopped over Bethlehem.

    The prophets, the gospels and book of revelations also list the birth and crucifixion with astronomical events. The significance is when you look at the constellation alignments of these events with Virgo, Leo, Aries. Jupiter, the moon, its astonishing.

    Jupiter we have a TRIPLE conjunction with Regulus in the constellation of Leo, Jupiter in retrograde King planet, King Star, and Leo the sign of the tribe of Judah.

    The Book of Genesis, Chapter 49:
    9 You are a lion’s cub, O Judah; you return from the prey, my son. Like a lion he crouches and lies down, like a lioness– who dares to rouse him? 10 The sceptre will not depart from Judah, nor the ruler’s staff from between his feet, until he comes to whom it belongs and the obedience of the nations is his.

    Virgo also has a role in this starry dance at the birth and death of events of Yeshua.

    In Chapter 12, John describes a life and death drama played out in the sky: the birth of a king.

    1 A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2 She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. 3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on his heads. 4 His tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that he might devour her child the moment it was born. 5 She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron sceptre…

    What astronomical events follow this TRIPLE conjunction. The constellation Virgo, rises with sun (clothed in the sun), and a New Moon is at her feet very small crescent moon, the day is Rosh Hashanah September 3BC(annunciation).

    So lets flip forward nine months – June 2 BC, Jupiter has finished crowning Regulus, In June 2BC we have Jupiter aligned /stacked with Venus (Mother planet), adding to each others light, you cant separate them with a naked eye. (BTW if your in Babylon and your looking west what are you looking at – Israel). As Magi head west they will be following the brightest star. OK that’s west how do you get south? Beginning in 11/25/2BC Jupiter orbit as a wondering star begins its retrograde and slows, the date when it stops (retrograde motion) and appears in the southern sky visible from Jerusalem is 12/25/2BC.

    Did December 25th have any special meaning to them then? No they didn’t use are calendar system. Was Yeshua born on December 25th, I don’t think so. But it does have significance for other later.

    Recap
    Jupiter triple (king, king, king) conjunction of the king planet and king star in the constellation of Leo (Judah), Virgo rises clothed in the sun with new moon at her feet. Rosh Hashanah 3BC

    Nine months later June 2BC the brightest planet, and largest planet align to form the brightest star anyone have seen and sets in the west over Jerusalem. Magi ride the get there sometime around November. The see Herod and ask for the boy king, Herod says Bethlehem. As the Magi head out they see the star in retrograde, do the math its December 25th… Is Yeshua is describe as a toddler not a baby in the Greek at this point. They present their gifts…

    But this is only the beginning.

    Yeshua was killed at Passover…

    Part 1

  6. Ziggy and Zoe says:

    Ssssssssshhhh…don’t tell them of our secret plans of new brave secular world….

    Z & Z

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