Oscar: Hoe-lee yikes the liberals are tryin’ to kill Christmas!
MacIntosh: Not true.
Oscar: Uh huh…Bill O’Reilly says sos and hes too tall to be wrong.
MacIntosh: He’s wrong.
Oscar: Whys he say that then?
MacIntosh: Santa skipped his house one Christmas and he’s still pissed off. He didn’t get the loofah he was hoping for.
Oscar: Poor Bill. Whys would liberals want to kill Christmas?
MacIntosh: Liberals think everyone should celebrate the holiday in their own way.
Oscar: Whats does Bill O”Reilly want?
MacIntosh: Besides a loofah? He wants everyone to celebrate Christmas like Christians do.
Oscar: Cuz theys invented Christmas, huh MacIntosh.
MacIntosh: Nope…people have celebrated the winter solstice since they noticed the days started getting longer and bikini weather was not far away.
Oscar: Sos the Christians stole Christmas?
MacIntosh: Yep and they don’t want anyone to steal it back.
Oscar: Whats do Christians do different on Christmas?
MacIntosh: Not much….some go to church….most just give it lip service, pig out and watch football games. But they do like to tell the old stories.
Oscar: Likes what?
MacIntosh: Like Christ was born unto a virgin, there was three wise guys, stuff like that.
Oscar: Is that true?
MacIntosh: Nope. They stole that too…those stories started three thousand years before Christ was born and appear over and over in mideastern culture…Horus, Zoroaster, Krishna. Virgin births were a dime a dozen.
Oscar: Wheres did they come from?
MacIntosh: Quick thinking and a forgiving husband.
Oscar: Ifs the Christians stole Christmas and made up all that stuff….
MacIntosh: Take a deep breath Oscar.
Oscar: Then what about Santy Claus?
MacIntosh: What about him?
Oscar: Is Santy real?
MacIntosh: Oh yeah…everybody agrees on that.
Oscar: Does he really have flying reindeer?
MacIntosh: You bet….and Rudolf has a glowing nose.
Oscar: And is there elves peoples?
MacIntosh: Sure…all of that is rock-solid. You don’t need to worry about Santa Claus.
Oscar: Yippee! Yippee!
MacIntosh: Feel better?
Oscar: Yep. I hopes he knows I’s been a really good dog.
MacIntosh: I’ll tell dad.
Oscar: Whys dad?
MacIntosh: He and Santa go way back.