Political Shorthand

Oscar:  Peoples on the foxes channel said a Florida school is tryin’ to kill Christmas.

MacIntosh:   Because they banned red and green colors?

Oscar:  Yep and them is Christmas colors.

MacIntosh:  Except it didn’t happen.

Oscar:  It didn’t?

MacIntosh:  Nope.  A deranged parent just made it up.  A local paper ran the story after exhaustive research lasting 45 seconds…and Fox jumped on the story from there.

Oscar:  Whys would they do that?

MacIntosh:  Same reason Senator Kyl said Reid was killing Christmas by making the Senate work between Christmas and New Years.

Oscar:  You mean like most Americans.  Whys would he do that?

MacIntosh:  It’s all a form of shorthand called pandering.

Oscar:  Huh?

MacIntosh:  They are just talking shorthand to psycho paranoid Christian fundamentalists.

Oscar:  Huh?

MacIntosh:  Look.  What they are really saying is “I understand your needs.  You are a Christian fundamentalist.  You have a need to feel persecuted and I need to keep your hatred of liberals at a peak.  So I am going to say things that are absurd and even lie to you to reinforce your fears.  You’re welcome ….send whatever money you have left after we rape the middle class to my campaign fund…. Go to church this Sunday and the teabagger meeting on Tuesday night…stay tuned to Fox while we think of other stuff to make up to feed your irrational fears and, oh yeah, have yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”

Oscar:  Wow…Senator Kyl and the foxes peoples really understands theirs shorthand.

MacIntosh:  They learned it from the old Democrats.

Oscar:  Democrats invented it?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  After the civil war they came up with shorthand called ‘states rights’

Oscar:  And whats were they really saying.

MacIntosh:  “We understand your needs.  You had a good thing going with slavery…cheap labor for your fields and night visits to the slave quarters when the Mrs. had a headache.  Now you’ve had your asses handed to you by a bunch of candy ass Yankees from Massachusetts and you are finding it hard to explain that keeping human beings in chains and treating them like tractors or blow-up sex dolls was an excellent reason for a war that killed 650,000 soldiers and another 300,000 civilians.  So let’s say the whole thing was about your rights as an independent state and just not mention the atrocities you fought to continue.  You’re welcome.  Vote Democrat.  And make sure you come to our seminar on how to create Jim Crow laws.”

Oscar:  Theys geniuses.

MacIntosh:  Yep.  Except the Kennedy’s screwed it all up.

Oscar:  Theys did?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  They thought civil rights were more important than states rights.  They lost a powerful shorthand.

Oscar:  But the Republicans found it?

MacIntosh:  Yep.  Reagan launched his presidential campaign in Philadelphia Mississippi.

Oscar:  Did he go there cuz theys had lots of voters?

MacIntosh:  Nope.  Only 7000 people.  He went there because it was the place where three civil rights workers were murdered in 1964.

Oscar:  And whats did he say in his speech.

MacIntosh:  “I’m here to talk about States Rights”

Oscar:  Which was shorthand for whats?

MacIntosh:  “I understand your needs.  You had a good thing down here…blacks couldn’t vote and if they got uppity you could string them up.  Now you’ve had your asses handed to you by some candy ass Yankees from Mass…..


This entry was posted in America, Teabaggers, Thumpers, Wacky People and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Political Shorthand

  1. Ziggy and Zoe says:

    Dwelchnz, libertarians just love that cartoon. 🙂

  2. Ziggy and Zoe says:

    Our favorite code word is: liberal.

    We love to hear how the word is used in conversation. It means so much more than just a political philosophy.

    • dwelchnz says:

      Yeah….even the liberals were scared. We became progressives.

      • Ziggy and Zoe says:

        I am not a progressive. I am not a Democrat. I am an old school liberal. This segment of the political spectrum is rarely supported in our government anymore. The US has shifted so far right since the mid 1970’s/early 1980’s that current left of the political spectrum used to be the center-right.

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