Oscar Learns Republican Math

Oscar:  5.6 plus 4.3 equals 5.6.  5.6 plus 1.4 equals 13.7.  13.7 plus 1.6 equals 13.7. ..

MacIntosh:  What are you doing?

Oscar:  I’m learnin’ Republican math.

MacIntosh:  Oh boy…where did you hear that?

Oscar:  That lady Michelle Bachmann is teachin’ me.

MacIntosh:  Huh?

Oscar:  Yep…she said when we have a deficit from cutting taxes for rich peoples it’s not really a deficit because the rich people still have theirs money and stuff.

MacIntosh:  Wow.

Oscar:  Yep…so the 4.3 trillion increase in the deficit between 2000 and 2008 doesn’t count on-account-of-because George Bush was a Republican and Cheney clearly stated that deficits don’t matter.

MacIntosh:  Wow.

Oscar:  Yep…and the 1.4 trillion added to the deficit after Obama took office comes to a total of 13.7 trillion on-account-of-because Obama is a leftist big spender and everyone knows Democrats can’t control the budgets.

MacIntosh:  Wow.

Oscar:  Yep…and the 1.6 trillion dollars added to the deficit in the next two years cuz of continuing tax cuts for the rich peoples won’t count on-account-of-because theys buying big mansions and boats and expensive recreational drugs for theirs children and that stuff donts count toward the deficit plus they gots more than they can spend so they can’t spend it.

MacIntosh:  Wow.

Oscar:   Whats would happen if we get rid of taxes for all the peoples in the middle?

MacIntosh:   It would add 2 trillion a year to the deficit.

Oscar:  Is that real math or Republican math?

MacIntosh:  Not a difference….Republicans think tax cuts for the middle class would really add to the deficit.

Oscar:  Howse come.

MacIntosh:  Because the middle class would spend it all on wasteful things like food, shelter, medical expenses and education for their children.

Oscar:  And then theys wouldn’t have it anymore.

MacIntosh:  Yep.

Oscar:  So it all depends on what you spend it on and ifs you got so much you can’t spend it?

MacIntosh:  Yep…according to Michelle Bachmann that’s the way it is.

Oscar:  Republican math is hard to learn MacIntosh.

MacIntosh:  I can help if you want.

Oscar:  Yippee.

MacIntosh:  First you must turn on the Fox channel and turn the volume up so you can’t hear anything else.

Oscar:  Okays.

MacIntosh:  Then you shut your eyes very tight and try to get an image where the people that can’t find a job are lazy bastards sitting around drinking Budweiser on the dole.

Oscar:  I’m tryin’.

MacIntosh:  Now try to get an image where the children from the 6600 families that will save 8 billion dollars in inheritance taxes are sitting around doing corn rows of cocaine, stimulating their central nervous systems and the economy at the same time.

Oscar:  I can almost see it..

MacIntosh:  Now imagine your election campaign receiving huge payments from rich people and corporate interests.


Oscar:  I can see it.  I have seen the light.  My eyes are open.

MacIntosh:  What have you learned Oscar?

Oscar:  Nothin’.

MacIntosh:  You didn’t learn Republican math?

Oscar:  Nopes…when I opened my eyes the math was pushed out by the reality comin’ in.


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6 Responses to Oscar Learns Republican Math

  1. Ziggy and Zoe says:

    Reduce government… we would prefer reform government instead.

  2. Uncle Stever says:


    Please enough of Bush’s fault…

    Star Wars Go????? We just spent decades both Republican and Democrat administrations have pushed ahead on it…. Its “ALREADY” deployed on warships, and its only a missile upgrade which uses existing technology already incorporated into AEGIS ships….

    I guess you missed the latest Iran and are banana republic pinko El Hugo are discussing transfer of regional IRBM’s which will reach the USA.

    Business investment is down because no one has a clue what Obama or the Dem’s are going to do with regulations and taxes… If the Democrats gave a rats nackers they would have already addressed this, it wasn’t a high priority for them, socialist programs are

    • dwelchnz says:

      Hate to thwart your historical revisionism but Bush should always be held responsible for problems created by his policies on his watch. He added 4.3 trillion to the deficit, the largest increase in history and second in percentage only to the increase under Reagan. He was a cheerleader for the housing bubble and and the TARP program he crafted when the bubble broke was a giveaway that failed to get the concessions needed from the banks to assure our money would be pumped back into the economy. Yes, those are problems created by George Bush.

      Your assessment for diminished business investment is not supported by anything but talking points and, speaking as a businessman, are simply wrong at face value. No intelligent investor in any time period is going to fund a business plan so marginal that its viability rests with reading tea leaves on taxes and regulation. It is much more likely that potential investment gets throttled by a failure to secure the business financing to move forward, which has been exactly the case with banks unwilling to lend, even to other banks, given the toxicity of their loan portfolios. Thats a problem caused by the failure to regulate our financial institutions, aggravated by a poorly negotiated TARP bailout.

  3. Uncle Stever says:

    here’s a UNIQUE concept – reduce government! Hell nearly a billion in Christmas earmarks this limp duck session, obvious good ole boys in both parties didn’t get the message from Nov. elections…

    OK what about the SMB market? or farmers, or fishermen, or truckers? On paper they look like millionaires, but they aren’t and they pay into the individual tax bracket..

    No ones investing in businesses because Obama lacks leadership, can’t lead as a chief executive. To much uncertainty on regulations and taxes.

    • dwelchnz says:

      I think SMB, aka Main Street, is the most abused and neglected segment of the American economy. They don’t have lobbyists and neither party has an angle to line them up politically. So they get ignored by both parties. 98% of the SMB segment fit comfortably under the 250,000 annual income mark so tax-wise they are in the middle class segment.

      Business investment is down because the economy is crap. Start a factory? No. Start a retail store? No. The Rethuglicans would love to pin this one on Obama but the real culprit is lack of regulation in our financial markets and 8 years of Bush deficits.

      The mantra to reduce government is NEVER accompanied by any concrete place to cut. The earmark thing is a joke with the congress critters arguing for killing earmarks while they find a million ways to bring earmarks to their district. Any meaningful reduction will have to start with defense and cutting there is difficult in our present war condition without endangering troops. Obviously Star Wars should go…but the Thugs can’t cut it without a backlash and the Dem won’t cut it because they will appear soft on defense,

      We are ultimately in a position where we send real people to the street to die or we raise taxes…starting wit the rich and their progeny.

  4. Uncle Stever says:

    Well, its best neither party hold an absolute majority…
    To quote Mark Twain:
    Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
    – Notebook, 1868

    …I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
    – “Foster’s Case,” New York Tribune, 10 March 1873

    If you would like an example of government math…. Here yah go boys and girls!!!

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