Oscar: Ol’ Uncle Steve is sure disgusted.
MacIntosh: Why’s that?
Oscar: Some peoples in California made it illegal to use toys to promote bad food to kids.
MacIntosh: And he thinks people should make their own decisions about what to put in their bodies.
Oscar: Exactly. He says there’s too much government.
MacIntosh: Is this the same Uncle Steve that thinks marijuana should be illegal.
Oscar: Yep. He says we need more police to win the War on Drugs.
MacIntosh: So, let’s see. The Surgeon General says obesity causes 300,000 deaths a year.
MacIntosh: And marijuana causes…let me recheck the numbers to be sure I’m accurate….yep it has caused zero deaths ever.
Oscar: That’s not very many.
MacIntosh: And California arrests 100,000 people a year for smoking marijuana but now they are asking fast food merchants to quit using toys to feed crap to children.
MacIntosh: That’s outrageous.
Oscar: So Uncle Steve is right?
MacIntosh: Yeah…we should be declaring War on Fat.
Oscar: We should?
MacIntosh: We need a Fat Czar and a gazillion new policemen.
MacIntosh: We need our SWAT squads to swoop down on McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Jack-in-the-Box and make those merchants of death do the Perp Walk.
Oscar: Hurrah for us!!
MacIntosh: And if people show up for work and test positive for Big Macs they should be fired on the spot.
Oscar: We cants be too careful. Do you thinks it will work.
MacIntosh: Nope. The gangs will take over. We’ll have a new mafia spring up, funded by illegal cake sales and pie orgies.
Oscar: Buts we will put them in jail, huh MacIntosh?
MacIntosh: It will not stop it. Nothing can stop it. They’ll be smuggling in burritos from Mexico, gelato from Italy, fish and chips from England.
Oscar: Sos we should give up?
MacIntosh: Never give up. If people are still getting fat 40 years from now we should not give up.
Oscar: No way, hoe-zay.
MacIntosh: We should build more prisons and hire another gazillion policemen if that’s what it takes to win the War on Fat.
Oscar: We shall fight Fat on the beaches…we shall never surrender.
MacIntosh: Because what we need is bigger government and smaller citizens.
Oscar: Yea…stay the course. So where do we start?
MacIntosh: I’m thinking dad could lose a few pounds.