Teabagger Government Policies: A Preview

Oscar: Whats mom gonna wear to the political rally?

MacIntosh: A Kevlar vest.

Oscar: Whats that?

MacIntosh: It will protect her from Rand Paul voters.

Oscar: I think she better wear a helmet too.

MacIntosh: Good idea.

Oscar: Howse come they treated that lady like that?

MacIntosh: It didn’t start out that way.

Oscar: How did it start?

MacIntosh: She asked for three reasons to vote for Rand Paul.

Oscar: What happened.

MacIntosh: The only one they could come up with “if you don’t we are gonna stomp your head”.

Oscar: That will get your attention.

MacIntosh: No kidding. Its like that reporter they roughed up at a Joe Miller rally.

Oscar: Sarah’s favorite in Alaska?

MacIntosh: Yep. But they didn’t even let him ask a question first.

Oscar: They just started arrestin’ him?

MacIntosh: Yeah…they said “we know for a fact you will ask a question we don’t want to answer so we’re just gonna have to beat you.”

Oscar: So theys is tryin’ to manage the message?

MacIntosh: Yep. And the message is “if you irritate us we are gonna beat you up.”

Oscar: Just the kind of people we need in government.

MacIntosh: And in charge of the military.

Oscar: What will they do ifs they get elected?

MacIntosh: Our new foreign policy will be “ do what we say and STFU or we are gonna nuke you”.

Oscar: What else?

MacIntosh: Our new monetary policy will be “we’re draining the treasury to pay back the large corporations that got us elected and if your try to stop us we are gonna beat the shit out of you.”

Oscar: That’s simple and easy to understand. What about the energy policy?

MacIntosh: They will do the same thing Cheney did.

Oscar: What was that?

MacIntosh: His energy policy was “ I’m too old to care about the future, my daughter doesn’t deserve to live either, so why don’t you energy companies decide what to do.”

Oscar: What will happen if we want a different energy policy.

MacIntosh: They will just have to beat us up.

Oscar: What will be the new education policy?

MacIntosh: The new education policy will be “after we get done cutting taxes and start a new war or two and if there is any money left we’ll give you a voucher and if you are lucky we won’t beat you up.”

Oscar: So what should peoples do if they decide not to vote and it means a teabagger gets elected?

MacIntosh: They should beat themselves up.



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