Teabagger Flexibility

Oscar: That Obama sure is flexible.

MacIntosh: How’s that?

Oscar: Them teabaggers say he is a communist, a Nazi, a socialist and a Muslim all at the same time.

MacIntosh: Yep. If he can do that he can do anything.

Oscar: Whats else can he do?

MacIntosh: He can enact the bank bailout before he was even elected.

Oscar: Hurrah…that takes some doin’.

MacIntosh: He can attend a Christian church for 20 years even though he is really Islamic.

Oscar: He’s got the patience of Job.

MacIntosh: He can place birth announcements in Hawaii from his crib in Kenya without a phone or an internet connection…preparing for that day 40 years later when he wants to be President.

Oscar: It’s awesome the way he thinks ahead.

MacIntosh: He can raise your taxes by lowering your taxes..

Oscar: He’s the Superman of flexible.

MacIntosh: Nope. The teabaggers own that.

Oscar: Theys do?

MacIntosh: Sure…they can be pro-life on abortion, anti-life on capital punishment and not even recognize the lives of women and children killed as collateral damage.

Oscar: That’s flexible.

MacIntosh: They can cut the deficit and cut tax revenues at the same time.

Oscar: Yippee.

MacIntosh: They can ride a mobility scooter bought for them by Medicare to a rally protesting government health care.

Oscar: Cuz that’s the way they roll.

MacIntosh: The can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with white supremist neo-nazis and insist they are not racists or bigots.

Oscar: Which proves how tolerant they can be.

MacIntosh: They can be patriots but threaten succession if they don’t get what they want.

Oscar: Wow. Yous right MacIntosh…them teabaggers is the Kings and Queens of flexibility.

MacIntosh: Oh yeah. Obama’s got a whole lot of learning to do if he wants to catch up.

Oscar: Maybes the teabaggers can teach him.

MacIntosh: Nah…he would have to say the Teabagger Oath.

Oscar: Theys gots an Oath?

MacIntosh: Three of them. The first is “ I am a Teabagger first, a Republican second, an American third, and a Decent Human Being after those three things.”

Oscar: That’s nice.

MacIntosh: The second one is “ There is only one channel, it is the Fox channel. Fox gives me all the news I need and I will not risk its purity by considering information from any other source.”

Oscar: Cuz theys is fairly unbalanced. What’s the third one.

MacIntosh: There is only one God and his name is Ronald Reagan”



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