Oscar: Where did god come from MacIntosh?
MacIntosh: Which one?
Oscar: There’s more than one?
MacIntosh: Oh yeah…thousands of gods.
Oscar: Where did the Christian god come from.
MacIntosh: Eyack, son of Arckk.
Oscar: Arckk? The peoples that lived a long time ago and invented values?
MacIntosh: Yep. His son Eyack came up with the idea.
Oscar: Whys did he do that?
MacIntosh: He got tired of getting whacked by Arckk.
Oscar: So he invented God?
MacIntosh: One day Arckk whacked him for lusting after his brothers wife. Eyack had a real problem with that.
Oscar: I remember.
MacIntosh: So Eyack took off for a few days to heal up and get his mojo back.
Oscar: Did it work?
MacIntosh: He came back better than ever. Arckk says “hey where you been shithead…you missed the hunt?”
Oscar: What did Eyack say?
MacIntosh: He says” Oh, I’ve been out talkin’ with God”. So Arckk wants to know who God is.
Oscar: Did Eyack tell him?
MacIntosh: He says” God, who by the way is my BFF, is a massive body builder dude that is like a thousand times more badass than you.”
Oscar: Was Arckk afraid?
MacIntosh: Yep. And then Eyack tells him God left a message for Arckk and he better listen up.
Oscar: What was the message?
MacIntosh: “QUIT WHACKIN’ EYACK.”
Oscar: Anything else?
MacIntosh: Yep. “ EYACK SHOULD HAVE HIS OWN CAVE.”
Oscar: Wow. What else?
MacIntosh: EYACK CAN’T HUNT ANYMORE IN CASE I NEED TO TALK WITH HIM.”
Oscar: Was that it?
MacIntosh: One more. “GIVE EYACK THE WOMAN”
Oscar: So those were the four commandments?
MacIntosh: Yep. Worked out pretty good for Eyack.
Oscar: What did Eyack do then?