Conservative Values


Oscar: Them conservatives sure have high moral values.

MacIntosh: Why do you say that?

Oscar: Theys always talkin’ about hows they believe in marriage, theys against abortion, theys don’t like porno…that kind of stuff.

MacIntosh: Conservatives just wish they had higher moral values. They don’t.

Oscar: Hows do you know that?

MacIntosh: Surveys. They found that 27% of born-again Christians have been divorced. The rate among atheists/agnostics is 21%

Oscar: Yikes…They not only born again…theys single again too.

MacIntosh: Yep.

Oscar: Maybe that’s cuz they were virgins when they gots married.

MacIntosh: Nope. Conservative states have the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs.

Oscar: Yippie! The conservative states is the highest. What else is they best at?

MacIntosh: Porno.

Oscar: Theys best at porno?

MacIntosh: Yep. 8 of the top ten states for porno viewing voted for McCain in the last election.

Oscar: That’s cuz of Sarah Palin.

MacIntosh: Huh?

Oscar: Yep…she looks like Tina Fey and she’s hot.

MacIntosh: Born again Christians and the Southern States are big porno viewers too.

Oscar: Theys both hopin’ that somethin’ will rise again.

MacIntosh: Yep. But Christians do start their porno subscription less frequently on Sunday.

Oscar: Cuz that’s the day to give it a rest, huh MacIntosh?



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