Oscar: Them conservatives sure have high moral values.
MacIntosh: Why do you say that?
Oscar: Theys always talkin’ about hows they believe in marriage, theys against abortion, theys don’t like porno…that kind of stuff.
MacIntosh: Conservatives just wish they had higher moral values. They don’t.
Oscar: Hows do you know that?
MacIntosh: Surveys. They found that 27% of born-again Christians have been divorced. The rate among atheists/agnostics is 21%
Oscar: Yikes…They not only born again…theys single again too.
Oscar: Maybe that’s cuz they were virgins when they gots married.
MacIntosh: Nope. Conservative states have the highest rates of teen pregnancy and STDs.
Oscar: Yippie! The conservative states is the highest. What else is they best at?
Oscar: Theys best at porno?
MacIntosh: Yep. 8 of the top ten states for porno viewing voted for McCain in the last election.
Oscar: That’s cuz of Sarah Palin.
Oscar: Yep…she looks like Tina Fey and she’s hot.
MacIntosh: Born again Christians and the Southern States are big porno viewers too.
Oscar: Theys both hopin’ that somethin’ will rise again.
MacIntosh: Yep. But Christians do start their porno subscription less frequently on Sunday.
Oscar: Cuz that’s the day to give it a rest, huh MacIntosh?